


Giant Mice

by TheStrayOne



Series: Our Maknae [3]
Category: VERIVERY (Band)
Genre: ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Cuddling, Dongheon is mentioned, Essays, Executive Dysfunction, High-school sucks, Minchan is a good hyung, Not Beta Read, Platonic Relationships, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), This is probably bad, author is projecting, for like .2 seconds, i wrote this instead of my essay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:53:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStrayOne/pseuds/TheStrayOne
Summary: It really shouldn't be that hard.  It's barely even work.  It's miniscule, tiny. Like a mouseBut as another minute ticks by, it feels less and less tiny.It feels like that tiny little mouse has grown thirty feet and is towering over him.He can't do this.
Relationships: Yoo Kangmin & Everyone
Series: Our Maknae [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1110282
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	Giant Mice

**Author's Note:**

> I know I've disappeared for awhile and I'm sorry. I'm just not doing great this year and I couldn't find any motivation to do much of anything. 
> 
> I'll explain more at the end, but I project a lot of the reasons I was gone for so long in this story. 
> 
> I wrote this in like 30 min so sorry if it's bad
> 
> Thanks for reading

Kangmin stared at his computer screen. The time in the upper right hand corner read 11:23 p.m. The room around him was dark and quiet, but the screen shown bright.

Too bright. Bright white. Blank white. Nothing. Absolute nothingness.

He'd had a week to write the essay. They were busy with schedules, but even so it should've been more than enough time. Far more than enough. He could've gotten it done the first day. Heck, he probably could've gotten it done in an hour. He should've gotten it done at least. 

Yet, here he was, staring at a blank document with only 37 minutes left to write. 

He should be frantically typing, hoping to get something at least good enough to get him a C.He should be working hard, trying to make up for wasted time.He should be doing something.

But he just stares.

He stares at the screen so long it starts to hurt his eyes.He watches the time continue to tick away, each minute passing so slowly but too fast at the same time.Each minute that ticks away is like another weight on his shoulder.It’s weighing him down, overwhelming him.He feels like his legs will buckle beneath him even though he’s not even standing. 

And he knows he should be doing something.He knows he should.He knows he still has time to write at least three half decent paragraphs but he can’t.Every time he tries he just can’t and there’s no other way to explain it. 

It really shouldn’t be that hard.He knows that.He’s written essays before.He’s done much more difficult things than essays before.It’s barely even work.It’s miniscule, tiny.Like a mouse.

But as another minute ticks by, it feels less and less tiny. 

It feels like that tiny little mouse has grown thirty feet and is towering over him.He feels like he can see it’s teeth and that it’s waiting to just swallowing him up whole.He feels like he can smell it’s rotten breath, making him dizzy and he feels like he can feel it’s matted fur as he tries desperately to get out of it’s grasp. 

He slams the laptop shut. 

It’s 11:37 now. 

He can’t do this.

He should.I should be able to do it.But he can’t.

The essay is worth 20% of their grade and they get deducted a letter grade for every day that it’s late.He’s already doing bad in that class.

Frustrated tears sting his eyes and he grips his hair tight in his hands. 

All he can focus on is that stupid essay and how badly the grade is going to affect his grade.It’s overwhelming and he wishes he could focus on something else for just five seconds. 

It’s almost funny.He almost laughs. 

One of the few times he actually can focus on something he doesn’t want to. 

It doesn’t take him long to start spiraling. 

This is what always happens when he’s like this. 

He can’t get something done, he cries, he hates himself, and his ability to focus properly plummets. 

He’s already fully expecting to spend the next week or so in a daze.He knows he’s going to spend the whole day trying to pay attention and not be able to.He knows he’s going to miss out on the review for his math test monday.He knows he’s going to miss notes in history. 

He knows he’s just going to keep spiraling down and down and that the stupid metaphorical mouse is just going to keep growing and growing and he’s going to breakdown and he’s going to lose focus and he’s going to mess up and make things worse and he won’t be able to get anything right ever because he’s just a idiot who can’t-

Oh. 

There’s an arm around him. 

He doesn’t remember hearing anyone walk in but he was never good at paying attention. 

“Don’t worry about the essay, okay.Hyungs can help you with it tomorrow.It won’t hurt you too badly.” 

He wants to start sobbing again.He really does, because Minchan always knows what to say.He always knows just how to make that stupid giant mouse shrink just a little. 

“We can even have Dongheon hyung email your teacher for an extension.If we say you were busy working she’ll probably give you one.”Minchan pulls him in closer and he leans into it. 

Kangmin sniffles.“I still should’ve been able to do it.I’ve had all week.”

“It’s not your fault, Kangnaengi.This isn’t something you can control and you’ve been overwhelmed for weeks now.It was only a matter of time before something like this happened.”

Kangmin knows he’s right.He also knows that it’s been getting worse.His ADHD had been mild as a kid, but it was getting worse and worse overtime.It was getting to the point where he could barely handle it anymore. 

“Let’s get some sleep okay?We have the day off tomorrow and we can spend some time working on your essay then and then we can get some rest.You need a break.”

Kangmin just nods.He’s tired and overwhelmed.He needs to sleep.

“Don’t worry so much okay?I promise you, it’ll work out.You don’t need to be top of your class.You just need to get through it.”

Minchan guides him to their shared room.Gyehyeon and Yongseung are both awake, already trying to make room for them. 

Kangmin smiles.“Hyung, it’ll be cramped,” he whines playfully.He really doesn’t care, but it’s fun to tease. 

“Yah, you don’t have a say in the matter.Get over here and get some sleep already.”Gyehyeon scolds playfully, patting the bed. 

He goes over and Minchan follows.It takes them a good two minutes to get in to a position where they all fit somewhat comfortably and they’re all still partially on top of each other.They make it work anyway. 

“Hyungs love you Kangnaengi,” Yongseung says while patting his hair. 

“Love you too.”

The mouse doesn’t feel so giant anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> This year has been rough, not just for me, I know, but it's hit me hard. At the beginning of the year my band director passed away. He was someone who really pushed me to work harder so it hit me pretty hard, and I also had to take over as temporary director since there was no one to fill the position. After that things just started piling up and I've been so so overwhelmed and frustrated. Especially now that I have to worry about college and actually making ends meet as an artist
> 
> I also recently found out I have ADHD and I've been looking into it and it's been a major issue for me for most of my life now that I realize what it actually is. I wrote this instead of the essay I have due in a few hours because of executive dysfunction, which is common in those with ADHD. I rarely see this condition represented accurately so I wanted to write this to try and show what it's really like. 
> 
> I'm sorry to all those who've been waiting for the other stories I've talked about. I just don't have the mental capacity to write a chaptered story at the moment. It's too much
> 
> I am thinking about continuing this series though. I really want to get back into writing because it's helped me in the past. If you guys have any suggestions for some maknae centric oneshots I'd love to hear them! I can't guarantee anything though. I want to put my mental health first and sometimes that means not writing. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm sorry for this long rant and I'm sorry for disappearing. I hope to not do that again! Thanks so much for reading! Remember to take care of yourself and your mental and physical health and much love to all of you!
> 
> P.S. if any of you happen to read this before 7 am on Nov. 6 comment to tell me to do my essay because I seriously need to get it done and I feel like having someone tell me will help.


End file.
